Break Me
by Buffy Anne Summers
Summary: Song-fic - Jewel. B / A. Major ANGST. Buffy is tired...so tired of fighting. Will she finally give up? R/R please!!!


The song is Jewels' off her album THIS WAY. It's called ( obvious much?) Break Me.  
  
In my other story, High School: That Place Where You Learn -- Chapter 5 is a song fic from her album, too. Standing Still. Can you tell I like Jewel?  
  
Probably rated R.  
  
This is somewhat of a dark story, but the endings' sweet. In a way.  
  
Please, please R / R! I'll die if you don't!!! ; (  
  
P.S.   
  
I don't really wanna die... : )  
  
  
  
BREAK ME  
  
  
  
*I will meet you in some place  
  
Where the light lends itself to soft repose*  
  
  
  
Buffy walked up to the door of the room Angel was staying.  
  
He's not Angel anymore.  
  
Angelus. Not her Angel. Angel was gone.  
  
HE had told her that time and time again. Only now did she finally believe it.  
  
This was a nightmare. Her life was a nightmare.  
  
One more person she cared about was gone.  
  
He had killed Jenny.  
  
She had to finish it.  
  
Numbly, she broke the lock. As she stepped inside the darkened room, only  
  
lit by the streaming moonlight. And candles.  
  
He had known she was coming.  
  
And then he appeared, his smirk coming into the moonbeams from a shadowed corner.  
  
"Hello, Lover."  
  
She stepped towards him.  
  
  
  
*I will let you undress me  
  
But I warn you, I have thorns like any rose*  
  
  
  
As he lay her down on the bed, her mind wandered. Only slightly. To her friends. Her watcher.  
  
My lover. My dead lover.  
  
Angelus was otherwise occupied, working to undress her.  
  
He threw the weapons he found hidden in the folds of her clothing into the burning fire.  
  
  
  
*And you could hurt me with your bare hands  
  
You could hurt me using the sharp end of what you say*  
  
  
  
She wasn't aware of much anymore.  
  
She knew his tongue, his words, could hurt her worse than anything physically.  
  
She knew he could hurt her anytime, even kill her.  
  
It didn't surprise her that she wanted him to.  
  
Not anymore.  
  
  
  
*But I am lost to you now  
  
There's no amount of reason to save me*  
  
  
  
She hadn't thought straight in days.  
  
Why start now?  
  
She remembered her letter to her best friend.  
  
She had told her to leave town as soon as she read it, just as all the others.  
  
She'd told her not to do any magic, to try to save her.  
  
Nothing could save her anymore.  
  
  
  
*So break me  
  
Take me  
  
Just let me fill your arms again*  
  
  
  
As Angelus took her, she thought only of her Angel.  
  
Not of the demon that was all that was left of him.  
  
She just wanted to feel his arms, Angels' strong muscled arms, around her again.  
  
She didn't care if it belonged to the demon anymore. They were once Angels'.  
  
And that was enough for her.  
  
  
  
*Break me  
  
Take me  
  
Just let me feel your love again*  
  
  
  
She hadn't felt loved in the longest time.  
  
For a moment...  
  
She thought she was still sixteen. Just turning seventeen.  
  
She felt as though it was raining again, and her Angel was there.  
  
But moments pass.  
  
  
  
*Feels like being underwater  
  
Now that I've let go and lost control*  
  
  
  
As Buffy let herself go, she was vaguely aware of the underwater sensation.  
  
Must have been the six Jack Daniels she had drank before coming here.  
  
Buffy had quickly become a closet alcoholic at her lovers' death.  
  
Or, Angelus' rebirth.  
  
  
  
*Water kisses fill my mouth  
  
Water fills my soul*  
  
  
  
Angels' soul broke through as he gasped down at her, him still within her.  
  
Buffy stared in bewilderment.  
  
Then he was gone. Shoved away by the demon. Angelus' attentions drew back to her.  
  
He smirked and continued.  
  
Gone was her hope.  
  
  
  
*So break me  
  
Take me  
  
Just let me fill your arms again*  
  
  
  
In her goodbye note to Giles', Buffy had told him not to kill Angelus only for Jenny.  
  
For her, as well.  
  
  
  
*Break me  
  
I'll let you make me  
  
Just let me feel your love again*  
  
  
  
She had written to Xander that though she had never returned his more romantic affections, she loved him.  
  
He was still the best man she'd ever known.  
  
And who knew what might have been?  
  
Yet, it would be too late when he read it.  
  
Too late for anything.  
  
  
  
*Kiss me once  
  
Well, maybe twice  
  
Oh, it never felt so nice*  
  
  
  
She remembered her first kiss with Angel.  
  
She kissed him now, as she had dozens of times since Angelus had appeared.  
  
The first time was still better.  
  
  
  
*Break me  
  
Take me  
  
Just let me feel your love again*  
  
  
  
She stretched the last kiss as her breathing returned to normal.  
  
She knew it would be the last.  
  
"Make me," she breathed.  
  
  
  
*Break me  
  
I'll let you, oohh I'll let you make me  
  
Just let me fill your arms again  
  
Just let me feel your love again*  
  
  
  
As his fangs bit down into her neck, she reached out to Angels' soul.  
  
He appeared before her, a bright light announcing his arrival.  
  
"Buffy... why are you - ?" He looked confused for a moment.  
  
Then realization... the light he had come from hadn't left...that only meant one thing.  
  
Despair took over.  
  
Buffy smiled. "It's alright, Angel, I'm coming to be with you..."  
  
We can finally be together...  
  
"Wait," she silently commanded the spirit in front of her.  
  
"Forever, beloved."  
  
Satisfied, she pulled the stake, still carefully hidden, from the pillow.  
  
Angelus didn't notice. He was too busy drinking her.  
  
Angel looked on.  
  
Angelus pushed her roughly to his wrist, which he had slit earlier. She drank.  
  
As he turned away and vision became hazy, she pulled the stake out, somehow quick as lightning.  
  
"Goodbye, everyone," she whispered.  
  
Dust.  
  
***  
  
The two souls joined once more.  
  
Buffy only faintly heard Angelus howl in anger as he realized the only thing beside him now was fine dust.  
  
Clasping the spirit hand of her true love with her own, Buffy felt more alive then she ever had.  
  
The soulmates walked into the light -  
  
Peace.  
  
  
  
R/R!!! 


End file.
